Working on custom packaging for my new sets of buttons! Couldn't resist making them look better than just mailing them loose in a bag! Will be on the store later this week! #ShurtugalShop#Etsy#buttons#diy
Broken- Chapter 6
Annie Vlogging- Today's my birthday, I Actually can't believe I'm 17 Anyways The Plans for this morning I'm Going To have family and friends over For my birthday Party, Then later Tonight Brennan's Taking Me Out So we'll See what happens But guys!
Me and Hayley are Sitting On my bed Talking "Who's All coming to the party Annie?" I respond to her question "Jayden, Katie, Brennan, Ryan, Kenzie, Brynn, Sydney, Luke, And the whole family!" Hayley looks are with excitement in her eyes "Even Nonnie?" Her eyes light up "Yep" ~
Later That Night
Brennan Knocks on My bedroom door I open it And he's all dressed up with A rose In his hands "May I give you some birthday love?" he says holding his hands out "Be my guest" He Grabs my waist pulling me closer to him He places his warm lips on Mine, I wrap my arms around his neck And he says "Forgot the date, I'd rather be here" I nod my head in agreement And bite my lip as he pushes me into my bed, He kisses my neck And move down slowly And looks up at me, I nod my head letting him know it's ok, He unclips my bra And cups my breasts, He then Moves down Unbuttons My Jeans And slides my panties off, She Softly Puts 2 Fingers in side me And pumps them, He Unbuttons his pants And Puts a condom on, Then he lays beside me and puts his Inside me, I don't know how to explain it kinda hurt But it's also felt so good, In the middle of us having 'It' I hear the door knob click then the door slowly opens "Hey Annie When's Brennan com-" Hayley stops when she sees us and covers her eyes "Hayley please go" I ask her "Ok, no need to ask me twice" She leaves And we continue, Then several minutes later he pulls his out And gets on top of me and we make out again, "Can you still take me To Krispy Kreme?" I ask and laugh "Of course" We walk out and go to his car We Get halfway there and We see this huge Commercial truck coming at us, It doesn't stop I Grabbed Brennan's hand and closed my eyes "I love you"
Some unexpected shit happens when you can make decisions without stepping on toes. The burning in my lungs that comes from finally being able to like what I want to like and do what I like to do without *permission* is unreal and overwhelming, but damn it's breathing. I am feeling that burn every breath I take. I am feeling. I am not pretending, or faking, or performing less of myself to keep up with the maintenance of toxicity.
I am finally feeling parts and moments and inclinations that I wasn't *allowed* to feel. I forgot to feel. I don't want to forget to feel or breathe again. My sense of self will not be suppressed for the sake of someone else's, ever again.
I absolutely will live through the parts of life I want to live through, even the parts that at one time I was willing to sacrifice for the folks around me. For now, it's small, it's feeling good in a haircut that I never got out of fear of being rejected or rolled over. But I'll be damned if there isnt more to come.